My eldest is wonderful and skilled in many things. He can give a mean hug when I’m grouchy, he can ride his bike with training wheels like a champ, and he is an excellent alarm clock on days we have no reason to get up early.
Some things, he does not excel at. One of those things is helping me to sell my used couch. A few months back, we bought a new couch, and so the old couch had to go. This was originally a pretty pricey one, so we were hoping to still get about half to a third of the original price.
A woman was over to look at the couch, and she was sitting down and testing it out, feeling for any secret problems hiding behind the cushions.
Dash comes down from his room where he was supposed to be napping and asked who this stranger was. I told him she might buy our couch.
“My mom hates this couch.”
I laugh, a little awkwardly, “Of course I don’t! It just wont fit in our new house!”
“It’s too squashy!”
The woman starts to get that look in her eyes that tells me I’m caught. She doesn’t want this hated couch. Suddenly she’s looking at the way she can really sink into the down cushions and seeing that they aren’t just cozy and comfy. They’re unsupportive. This couch doesn’t hug you, it sucks you into it. When she first sat down, it was, “Oh, the feathers inside are so soft!” Now, she was clearly not feeling it.
I knew the deal was officially broken when she stood and said, “I’ll have to think about it.”
…Is it possible to give my kid a negative commission?