Crazy-Easy DIY Dishwasher Detergent Tablets


20131230_134942

Let me just start this post out by saying I’m not suuuuper crafty. When people who know me think of me, I sincerely doubt it is because they’re thinking of anything crafty or do-it-yourself; it’s much more likely they’re thinking of my ridiculous facebook posts or my zany antics with wild hair dye colors, or (no brainer) my amazing ability to create such adorable and funny kids. But since leaving the military and embarking on my domestic adventures in being a stay at home mom, I have more of an interest in attempting pinterest projects, and without my second income I also have the drive to be a bit more thrifty. My point is, even a novice like me could mix up a batch of these babies in less than five minutes, so no, you don’t have to be crafty to accomplish this.

I’d also like to give credit for the recipe I used to make these dishwasher tabs, and since I sort of picked and chose from a couple of sources, I will just say that it’s a mix of the ones I found here, here, and here. All of them were nice and actually damn near the same, really, but didn’t quite seem right for me. so I tweaked them just slightly, and voila! I have a super wonderful dishwasher tab that left my dishes sparkly and clean! The glasses had no spots, the plastic containers didn’t have any hazy film (which we did get from several of the store-bought tabs),  and they smelled clean and fresh without being overly soapy-smelling. That strong soap smell that you sometimes get from “real” detergents creeps me out, I don’t want to eat or drink soap. A whiff of it when I open the dishwasher is one thing, but when I’m tipping a glass of water to my lips, I don’t want to feel like I’m getting a belly full of suds.

So without further ado, here’s the recipe:

1 cup borax
1 cup washing soda
1/2 cup sea, kosher, or other coarse salt
1/2-3/4 cup lemon juice, fresh squeezed or from a bottle

A couple things to note: Washing soda is not the same thing as baking soda. It’s in the laundry aisle, usually conveniently located next to the borax. As far as the salt, any coarse one will do. I used an off brand sea salt because it was cheaper, some of the recipes even used epsom salt, which would likely be even cheaper. I just chose what I happened to have onhand. The salt is used for the abrasive quality and to help soften hard water if that’s an issue where you live, so the type isn’t a deal-breaker.

Mix them all together and it’ll be the consistency of soggy sand. Add the lemon juice slowly, and once you get it to the consistency where it’s easily sticking together, stop. It’ll still work if it’s too wet, but it’ll be messier and harder to form. Next, scoop out tablespoons of the mix. As I scooped it out, I thought I must’ve been doing something wrong because the little half-spheres I was scooping onto my sheet of tin foil seemed a bit crumbly, like they’d fall apart at a touch. Don’t fret, dear reader, your tablets will dry out and somehow become more stuck-together as they do.  I let it stay in the shape of the 1 tablespoon sized scoop and just plopped them out onto the foil, but you can form it into little blocks if you prefer. You might want it to be a different shape to fit just so into your compartment of your dishwasher, it’s up to your preference. I’ve seen several versions where people pressed it into different ice cube trays or even cookie cutter shapes, so go ahead and get creative if you want to. Have an old bachelorette party penis shaped ice mold? Who doesn’t want a little soapy penis to do their dishes? Just make sure there isn’t more than about a tablespoon of the mix in each tab, or you’ll risk having too much detergent, which means that you may end up with soapy film on your dishes. And that would be a bummer, because it defeats the whole purpose of a quick, cheap and easy tab if you have dirty dishes at the end. Who wants to re-run a rinse cycle or some other nonsense? Not this gal. Pay attention and save yourself the headache.

Once you have your own special little creations, let them dry. You can use it immediately but it’ll be mooshy, which means that you can’t store them without them all drying together, becoming one big hunk of hassle requiring an ice pick and a strong arm. If you’ve scooped them out like mine, it takes a few hours for them to dry out. If you put them into an enclosed mold such as an ice cube tray (of any shape, naughty or nice), it may be better to wait a full 24hrs. Let them sit until fully dried out, then place into an airtight container. I reused the container that my old store-bought tabs came in: take that, cascade! This recipe makes 36 tabs 🙂

When I used mine, I just tossed it into the bottom of the dishwasher, because the little compartment wasn’t quite deep enough to fit mine. In the future I could flatten them a bit, but realistically, I doubt I will. That extra few seconds per tab is really not going to matter since they work great the way I am using them, but if you’re the type that will want it to fit, you may want to check that yours do before they dry out.

Also, here’s a shot of the fabulous results:

20131230_134513

Ooooooooh, sparkly 🙂

The exact breakdown of the price was about $0.04, yes, just 4 cents per tablet! I factored in everything according to what the actual used amount cost, so to be fair, I did have to spend a bit more upfront than what I actually used, but since those ingredients can easily be used to make subsequent batches, I’m not bothered about it. The store-bought ones we got from Costco were the cheapest we could find locally, and those were a pretty great deal at just $0.19/tab. Some brands at Wal-Mart are as much as .$0.35 each, which means that at the least they’re nearly 5 times less, and depending on the brand, can be almost 9 times less expensive! I get it that these aren’t likely a huge part of your budget, but it all adds up. I’d rather spend my extra money on something a little more fun and exciting than dish soap!

So good luck making your own, and be sure to let me know what you think! Also, feel free to share this link with your friends, family, and even a few strangers 🙂

 

 

p.s.- if you’d like to know about the minor disaster in my kitchen as a result of making these, read on!

How to be a Horrible Human for Halloween


This story on USA Today (and probably picked up all over) is about an evil bitch in North Dakota who is all set to shame and exclude children she decides are “moderately obese” when they come to the door tomorrow.

here’s the whole letter:

USATodayletter

This woman is (poorly) disguising her venom as concern, but the reality is that she doesn’t know how healthy these kids are. There are plenty of kids who are going to plump up a bit and thin out naturally during the course of their childhood as they go through growth spurts. There are kids who are thin but badly malnourished and who probably need real, healthful food badly, who won’t benefit at all from that candy. There are heavy kids who are perfectly healthy, and for all she knows, their parents are going to make them eat only a few pieces of their haul and it’s going to last months. The point is, she isn’t these children’s doctor. She doesn’t know, nor is it her place to butt in about, their state of health.

This is just her chance to make a few kids feel terrible and excluded, and she thinks it’s perfectly okay to do that to them, because apparently she’s the boss of everyone and what their children are fed.  The only thing this will acconplish is to hurt people, and there is no way she could be so dense as to be oblivious to that simple fact. I’d go so far as to say that her true intention is to hurt feelings, because she would have taken a different route if it wasn’t.

If she felt true concern about children’s health and what they snack on, she could hand out boxes of raisins, or apples, or cranberries or whatever dried fruit she prefers. She could hand out toothbrushes or pennies, or stickers, or those lame little erasers that do an awful job of actually erasing anything, and that everyone throws away the next morning because they’re no longer relevant since the Halloween season is over. She could hand out crayons, or twisty straws, or pumpkin seeds. She could even include a note with her “treats” to declare that her alternatives to candy were given in the spirit of encouraging healthy habits for everyone, not just the heavier kids.

But the best choice of all? She could turn off her porch light and save people from having to deal with a terrible, horrible, real, live monster.

Being a Hypocrite


As a child-free person, I could sympathize with parents on some level. I grew up in a big family and there have always been a lot of younger siblings, cousins, and various family friends’ kids around. And yet, no matter how many children a person is exposed to, somehow there are still things you just don’t believe will ever happen to you.

My kids won’t do that. My baby will never be like that baby. I’ll be so much more ‘together’ than those parents! They’re just doing something wrong.

I especially thought this was true because I waited to have kids until I was in my late twenties (well… I waited to slack off about caution enough to accidentally get pregnant until I was older. The timing was still not exactly mapped out). I thought I’d be better equipped because of being so sage and wise and all. Honestly I think the only thing I gained was being a bit more patient, and that’s definitely less than I thought I’d have worked out by now. I just had no clue what an asshole I was, or perhaps if I’m being nice about it, what a hypocrite I’d one day become. Looking back, I am very happy that I kept those condescending ideas mostly quiet when I was around any parents. This way I can freely admit all of the bumps and setbacks and mistakes I’m making and get a laugh and an, “I’ve been there!” rather than trying to pretend all’s great so I don’t have to see all of those parents gloat over my not-so-stellar track record.

I am so glad I can share a laugh about my kids and the mistakes I make with them. So if you happen to be reading this and don’t yet have kids: Go ahead and judge, but do it quietly. You may one day wish you’d kept your judgy trap shut.